Does rejecting my natural hair mean that I am rejecting who I am?


Came across the video courtesy of via

It’s a cool short video that expresses some very real viewpoints and realities on why women relax their hair. Check it out.

Peace & love,
Queen Duafe for


Cool Headdress


Hi Queens!

Just wanted to give you some ideas on how to wear headdresses.

What do you think?

Black Roses: The Digital Movement. Respect Yourself.


As of August 7, 2012, I am starting a project.

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Black Roses: The Digital Movement

Because women have got to learn how to respect and cherish their bodies.

by Shila Iris (aka Queen Duafe)

This is a movement to encourage women to love themselves by dressing with respect to their bodies and true identities.

Last week I was at work and a young lady entered wearing leggings and a camisole. She is 3 months pregnant. Her underwear were visible and her stomach hung over the leggings. It was actually quite offensive and no one knew she was pregnant. I know because I see her a lot. A camisole is an undershirt and it would be wise to wear a bra underneath it and a shirt on top of it. She had neither. Leggings are in the tights family and should be worn under long dresses or tunics. Both camisoles and leggings are used in exercise. They become very questionable when worn as outfits.

These things should not happen. We all have to learn that showing your body to the world is not the way to go!

She looked horrible. Of course people gawked at her in disbelief, but a lot of us accept this as the norm.

A pregnant woman should be loved and respected.

The child inside of her should be nurtured and respected.

Her body should be covered and worshiped privately.

I am so fed up with seeing women on display all the time.

I am not against tight clothes although they are not the best looking clothes if you ask me. This is because they have the tendency to show too much and most of the time they are tasteless attempts to showcase a body. Women with self-esteem know better.

Black Roses: The Digital Movement

From experience I can say, I am treated like the Queen that I am when I dress in clothes that are my correct size. Every now and again I may wear something fitting, Some men cannot handle this and I cannot handle the attention and the negative, predatory energy. I have learned how to dress things down because even though I am not trying to send a message, some men just take it that way. The type of men I don’t want around me.

But it’s not all about men. It’s really about YOU. Why do you think it is so necessary to show every crack and curve on your body? Do you really need that much attention, girlfriend? You know you’ll get it because lots of people don’t care, all they want is to connect with the flesh- never the mind, heart, spirit or soul. They just want to touch you. You let them impregnate you with bad energy, thoughts, and babies, and then starts the lifelong journey filled with drama and pain.

I am tired of us being afraid to say something about inappropriately dressed females. It has become the norm to see women’s bodies on display like horses. Zebra stripes painted on asses, we are not animals! That is something to be kept private, but I am seeing it everywhere.


Please comment and share this link and picture with your friends and community. We have to stop encouraging our QUEENS to leave the house naked. We want to love and respect all women, but we cannot do that when we see your body on display. It ain’t cool and it ain’t cute- I don’t care what the music video told you. It is a time and place for everything. STOP PUTTING YOUR BODY IN THE STREETS! YOU ARE NOT A WHORE! YOU ARE BETTER THAN THAT.

Black Roses: The Digital Movement by Shila Iris. Adorn Yourself Respectfully…

Post your pictures, showing how you can dress beautiful without being on display. Even if you show a little skin, there has to be a boundary.

Love Yourself Every Day!

Queen Duafe for African Essence &

Black Roses: The Digital Movement by Shila Iris

Black Roses: The Digital Movement by Shila Iris

The African Essence Fall Wish List


It is still summer, so why speak of the fall? Well, it is just reality! I personally enjoy the spring and summer far more than fall and winter because I find it easier to navigate and fellowship during these seasons, but I accept them all. Nonetheless, the color of fall is always wonderful and so is the winter snow and skies. In preparation for the coming season, I have some clothing items that would enhance my africanessence. Although clothes don’t make a person, we all still have style. It is important to be comfortable and appropriate when expressing ourselves through dress. Well, I have a certain style and taste and I would love to have these things. What do you think?

My first choice: A long fitted brown leather jacket. Hopefully I can find this at a thrift store for under $50! If I try to buy one brand new, I know it will be too expensive for my budget. It is hard to find perfectly-sized brown leather coats.

I like this as well…

Antonio Berardi Leather fitted jacket

Leather fitted jacket

…but I don’t strongly desire it. This is a high end priced coat, but believe me, I am not ever going to pay a lot for it. I will find something similar for much cheaper.

Really diggin maxi skirts right now. 

In the summer I like short skirts, but in the fall I like these. At my height, I have to be sure that they aren’t too long and typically I have to wear heels to avoid the skirt scraping the ground.

I’ll be wearing these…

Bell sleeve shirts are awesome!

Dashikis! These can be expensive, but when you find them online, they tend to be a bit cheaper.


African ethnic style t-shirts…

Got these!

I want these…

…but I can’t be greedy.

That’s all for now.

Peace & love,

Queen Duafe for African Essence